Plurkfiends

This is a real and actual extract from a “Home Economics” book printed all the way back in 1950.

I had the book for a long time, then when I met SWMBO found it on the wall. I married her not because I thought she would follow the instructions, but because we are good friends who enjoyed each others company. Thirteen years on, we are still happily married. Just read the following:

HAVE DINNER READY

Plan ahead – even the night before – to have a delicious meal ready on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the welcome needed.

PREPARE YOURSELF

Take fifteen minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little jovial and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER

Make one last rip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys papers, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

SOME DON’TS

Don’t greet him with problems of complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner.
Count this as minor, compared with what he might have gone through that day.

PREPARE THE CHILDREN

Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces. If they are small, comb their hair, and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures, and he would like to see them playing the part.

MINIMISE THE NOISE

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE

Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillows and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax – unwind.

LISTEN TO HIM

You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

MAKE THE EVENING HIS

Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

THE GOAL

Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

If my woman SWMBO read that, you’d be able to hear her laughing in Dreamworld.

Don’t let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.

When I was about sixteen years old, my parents gave my stepbrother a great book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. I am fairly sure he read it. And I know everyone else did too. I managed to get my hands on the book for a week, reading it cover to cover. But that was … sheesh, twenty one years ago. I am going to purchase it for myself.

This book not only taught me about interpersonal communication, effective negotiation, and how to win/lose an argument without getting beaten to a pulp. Twenty years on, and I sometimes wonder if I actually read the book. I remember it – but I sometimes have days where I take life a little too seriously, take on way too much for one person, and forget that I am not immortal.

As an Australian, the worst crime we have is believing we are so far away from the rest of the world that those atrocities could never happen over here. You never know when that bus is going to hit.

Make the best of your circumstances. Everyone has problems.

It’s our circumstances that make us who we become. Not just what we choose to do with our life, but how we try to fix the problems we perceive we have. Or if we do anything at all.

Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

Having taken an interest in a few different subjects over the last twenty years, I am happy to have settled into this one: Web Site Design and Development. What do I enjoy most? Building and testing CSS. Shooting photographs of unusual items in my ‘shtudio’, portraits of people and colourful landscapes. Consequently, I smile a lot more than I have in a long time.

I have so many other interests that take up a lot of my time that I lead a very busy life. When people ask what I do in my spare time, I say "Sleep." Simple as that. Some people seem to think I am copping out of an answer, so will ask again, "Haha, but really. What do you do?" That’s a different question, I respond, but do you really want to know the answer? Usually they do not.

Anyhow, it’s my life, I am keeping myself very busy at a lot of different things. I can be found simultaneously purchasing shares to make my next billion credit, creating an image for an advertisement that will be see all around Australia, dreaming of my next camera, designing a website for a friend PLUS vacuum the lounge-rugs.

For those who are asking, "Why?" Because sometimes its good for both the brain and spirit to remind oneself of the journey, not just the pit stops along the way. Especially when they are pits and stops, but not an oil change.

Don’t hold post-mortems. Don’t spend your life brooding over sorrows and mistakes.

Ain’t this the truth? To much time is spent by a lot of people brooding over things that happened years ago, even two minutes ago. Time cannot be brought back, nor reconstructed, not really.

Ok, so we all make a few mistakes, we send out an email to the wrong people, we snail-mail a bill to the wrong office, or leave a brown-bag of steaming dog-poo on the wrong porch – Hey, life goes on. Everything will wash away eventually…

If you must grieve the loss of a few dollars on a bad purchase, at least use the tool or toy a few times before giving them to charity.

Don’t borrow trouble. Imaginary burdens are harder to bear than the actual ones.

Much like taking oneself too seriously, one can imagine that life’s burdens are terrible cross to bare.

The truth is that most troubles are nothing more than something in the mind, or a state of the heart, or simply a gross exaggeration of something that we only imagine is bad.

Don’t fret over something until it actually happens, and don’t dwell on it in the mean-time. If you think something is going to turn out bad, find a way to stop it, prevent it, or alleviate it.

Think of trouble as opportunities to improve oneself.

I used to respond to my name being called with "What did I do this time?" Now I say, "How can I help you?" If it should be something incorrectly done, I quietly think about what could be worse. Then I remember I live in Australia. Nothing is so bad it cannot be washed away with Bourbon Whisky Chocolate Ice-Cream!

I found this great list over at Troy Worman’s corner of the internet a few years ago. It’s not there any more, but it’s still a great series by which to live your life:

12 Tips on Building a Positive Attitude

1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. Everyone has problems.
3. You can’t please everybody. Don’t let criticism worry you.
4. Don’t let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.
5. Do the things you enjoy, but stay out of debt.
6. Don’t borrow trouble. Imaginary burdens are harder to bear than the actual ones.
7. Hate poisons the soul, so don’t carry grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
8. Have many interests. If you can’t travel, read about new places.
9. Don’t hold post-mortems. Don’t spend your life brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
10. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
11. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

My next eleven articles will expand on each of these. Links to each will be added shortly after the last article is published.

I have lived in Adelaide since 1987. From ’87 to ’94, I was on a bus at least twice a day, sometimes four times. In order to get anywhere, you have to go via the Adelaide CBD – thus getting to some suburbs meant TWO buses. It’s now I wish I had gotten my Drivers Licence back when I was 16, more than half my life ago!

For the first time in over 10 years, I am back on an Adelaide bus.
And it’s not quite the experience I wanted, yet not any less than I expected.

For the second night, I’ve discovered the interesting horrors that are endured. The buses seem not to have improved at all since I finished High School. Yeah, they build ‘em better now, and they look clean. Yet … They still stink like a camels sweaty leg-pit after crossing the Nullarbor Plains.

After a few minutes of sharing this sardine-can on wheels, the combined body odours forms a translucent gelatine which we all swim when attempting to escape through the non-pliant doors.

Whether sitting or standing, there is no escaping the continual stop/start as each bus-stop, stop-light, stupid car driver or unpredictable and random moment whereupon the driver stabs his left foot upon the brake-pedal. One could almost assume that the brake is auto-executed when he lifts his foot from the accelerator, it happens so often!

I swear the seat padding has not been replaced since Noah gave the two Yeti’s seats on the Arc! What little padding remains is now a hindrance as it stabs at my gluteus maximus in much the same way that the princess felt the pea at the bottom of the mattresses.

Taking corners at speed forces hand from pocket up to the window, bars, nooses… Wait, that is a hand-strap? Anybody shorter than five-foot-tall had best find a step-ladder!

Standing passengers frantically adjust their feet to ensure they don’t tumble over. Having a mesh of bodies is suddenly not a bad thing: Crammed together as one large mass means no one moves at all, we just sway in unison like a thousand hippies at Woodstock.

The only downside is that the people in the middle either die from suffocation, crushed bones or from the desperation of not getting off where they need.

As the evening darkens, discerning one bus stop from the next gets difficult. Since I’ve not travelled these back roads in some time, I get a little disorientated. Is that the sinking sun in the west or the glow of the city? Cupping my hand to the window and face, hoping a land feature will protrude from the darkness, I bring my phone to my ear…

I’ve rung the wife to tell her I think the train is closer to the CBD than home, and that I might be another 15 minutes. She says not to worry, she’ll meet me at a well-lit bus that’ll I surely recognise and not miss. Suddenly a hole appears in the ozone layer (the traffic thins as we head up the hill), and moments later I’m standing on the side of the road making the phone call to find out she just left home.

Sigh. You just cannot get good transport these days.

One of the most annoying things about life is having habits that do not have any benefit.

Some people have bred habits that teach them to go to bed very late on a week night. That develops a habit of taking the late train each morning.. So they miss breakfast, take less care on personal hygiene, appearance & attire.

Can you spot where that person could easily change a few habits? Just one change in their lifestyle could make all the difference, including make them a better person. Who wouldn’t want to make that change?

To make it easier for you I’m listing ten good habits that you can easily slip into your daily routine. Some might have these components already, so you can think of this as a reminder of how effective your habits are and how much the effort is worth.

Right, what is the número-uno and most important aspect of our lives? I’m sure most people know this but need a gentle reminder. Yes, Sleep.